Sunday, June 16, 2013

Of Love, Loss and Longing... and other post-partum issues after clicking SEND

June 16th, 2013. Launch Date + 1
While numerous assignments in writing technical documentation have been accomplished, mostly successfully, with the proverbial pay-check received, the feeling of accomplishment that swept over me yesterday, seconds after pressing '<SEND>' was absolutely enormous and with absolutely no financial reward in sight - yet.

So... the fact that I logged in to see if anyone had posted a feedback comment at 03:00 in the morning, was, to me, an indication that, yes, I truly was proud of the manuscript.

Ooh, certainly, as usual, and as my ex- used to berate me, " issue scrolls off the top of the screen, another pops up from below." Why do I remember that so well. With a pinch of salt here and there, it was probably true - still is.

No sooner had I dutifully thanked the powers that guided the years of stewing on The Journal of Rudd, when I started berating myself for not producing a cleaner, more succinct manuscript - but, "... no, it needs a bit description here... but less there, and, will they think that it's like this...? ...and the voice, ooh the issue of the voice. Too many dashes?"

Now... what will happen if...? If the crimp, the fellow responsible for Frank's abduction (shanghaiing) had to experience the feelings FRB had for the rest of his life, landing up in a totally strange country, after being terrified by weather at sea. Would Bunko Kelly, after his Life Review, and ready to pass on to the next life, not have second thoughts in hurting others? Could this character type, the Trickster archetype, I suppose Jung would call it, not make for interesting exposition? But then, I find myself asking - why? Why would anyone, any sentient spirit, try to trick another? In the case of Bunko Kelly, it was money. He could care less whom he hurt, as long as he could supply human bodies to man the ships - steal their pay, and pocket any financial income due the shanghaied sailors. But I am certain Kelly learnt his lesson. Money merely has the value a society places on it - and in the end is totally worthless.

But that isn't the major issue. The major issue, what I believe in feminine psychology is called post-partum, is the issue with regards to JoR/The Journey West, and that is, just like a child, taking it's first hesitant steps into first day at school... coming out a few hours later with wonderful words: "Hi, Dad... I think I'm going to like school!" Is the manuscript about to succeed in the glare of public scrutiny? ripped apart, torn to shreds, as a waste of the reader's time? Like the child, toddling off to school, time will tell, how that spirit, how that manuscript survives, succeeds - or not. 

All I can do now is try to steer the manuscript here a bit, there a bit. And go on, to complete the next three sections.

If the sense of accomplishment I still feel is like this now, after just one segment - what will it be like after all four are completed? I'll have to find out, won't I?

Things are as they are - they will end as they must.

-- JSB.

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